Please read and help, 10 pts best advice?

Ok so i've been dating this guy for almost a year. We found a place to move in together, Feb is the day we move in. We haven't made anything official we just saw the place today and know we want it.





The thing is, I've never been in a long term relationship, most of mine don't last past 3 months. I'm shitting myself just thinking about moving in with him. I have deep insecurity issues.





I'm also very attracted to his friends.. The thoughts i have about them are uncontrollable. I've tried controlling my thoughts and desires, but they always come back more intensely. I think his friend would date me too, but it would be awkward because they've been great friend's for years, so i don't think i could put either of them through that. Although someone in our group of friends already did that.


I know this guy can read my thoughts, he always hints at these fantasies i've had. It's really rather embarassing. He also told me last night that he's going to start looking for a gf, and that broke my heart, even though i'm with his friend. It's selfish to feel that way I know. I just really want to be with him, and i can't and it breaks my heart.





Should i move in with my man, and stay with him, even though i have these thoughts about the other person ?





I'm so hesitant on leaving him because i won't get the other half of the rent from his friend, i don't want to hurt him, i do love him, i don't want to pay for pot, and i don't want to take the bus. I don't want to not potentially see any of his friends anymore. These are obvious reasons to not stay with someone right? why do you stay with your lover?Please read and help, 10 pts best advice?
If you are really attracted to other people, and you are hesitant to leave this man because you ';won't get the other half of the rent';, then moving in with him is the worst possible thing you can do. You say that you care about him and don't want to hurt him-- it sounds clear to me that if you try to live together right now, you will end up hurting him, and hurting him far worse. As of nor, from what you have written, you are not fully committed to this relationship. That almost guarantees that living together will end in disaster; the more so because it's his friends that you're attracted to, which means that if anything happens, he'll not just lose you but his friendship with the guy you're attracted to as well. If you move in with him and keep seeing his friends, it's a disaster just waiting to happen-- you'll be hurt, he'll be hurt, the friend will probably end up hurt...





You're clearly not at a point in this relationship where you are ready to commit 100% to this man, but that's what choosing to live together should mean. Please, don't do it.Please read and help, 10 pts best advice?
I could give you the real big story of how you are not ready or I could tell you some story's of why people get divorce.. But it all come down to this.


You are not ready yet.. So just wait and be true to yourself. Just to let you know, I am proud of you that you are at least asking us and yourself the right question... Just wait for the right time.. And that is not now.
Be honest with him and don't commit to any obligations that could destroy your, or his, financial credibility.
get a job get a car pay for your own weed pay your own rent quit free loading and using him
What do you mean ';why do you stay with you lover';? You do realize you posted this in marriage %26amp; divorce, right? Because he's my HUSBAND, we're not teenagers, we aren't looking to diddle each other's friends, and we don't stay together just so we only have to pay 1/2 rent. UGH! Grow up!!
Best thing to do is be honest with your boyfriend and yourself.


I would not move in with him because you clearly have feelings for his friends. You are not 100% ready to commit. You would be wise to do what is best for you.


I stay with my lover because I love him and enjoy spending time with him.
You are not in a mental state to move in with anyone now. You are so confused and the red flags you have raised are enough for me to say stay put until you know what you really want. If you really love someone, you dont' go after thier friends. If you love the other person, you need to sit them down and discuss it. But to move in, then say oops, I like your friend, is asking for lots of legal issues. Sit the friend down and ask him how he feels about you. Talk it out. If its worth throwing everything away, ok, but know you can't go back. If you realize, your boyfriend is the one you love, stay. Don't use him for a source of pot, a house, food, ect. That isn't love, its using him. As for the rent issue? yes, its money, but your issues are larger than money now. Until you can think with a clear head about what YOU want and need, stay put. If either of your friends loves you, they will give you space to figure things out, and come back. If they don't? Not your friends. As for the drugs. stop them now. Legally, you are asking to be kicked out of your home if you keep using and storing them at your premise. Its grounds for evicion and no money refund. What is your life worth to you, ask yourself this? Girl you need lots of counselling. Not a cheap apartment.